How to be happy?

Tried getting busy in work and in the house
but i still feel empty.
Maybe this is because of my sickness,
been sick every now and then
just dont know why.

Is it because of the food I ate?
Is it because of my environment?
Is it becuase of my feelings?
Is it because of loneliness?

It's raining here again,
my friend usually associates the rain as sadness.
She might be sad right now,
and wants me to acknowledge it.

I always loved the rain,
since I was a kid I always prayed for rain.
It's just now that it makes me sad,
Felt cold and alone too.

I'm so sick of it.
I've always said "I had enough."
But my actions didn't connive
with my painful thoughts.

I hate you! I despise and loathe you!
Please stay away with me.
You detrimental-negative thoughts.
Go away please....