uncertain

Woke up this morning with uncertainties... true that life is full of uncertainties, just this morning I was being like "hey! aze, what are you going to do now?" something that I just can't understand. This feeling of mine is already forgotten but was brought to life last night when one of my friends found out that she's a month pregnant!. Yes it's positive! and honestly, I don't know what to say to her, I just congratulated her and let her feel my support and the others do the same too. At an early age of 24 (yes that's early for me but maybe not for others ;)) I wished to have a baby already, silly isn't it? but that's right! at the age of 25 still like to have one but was told the advantages and the disadvantages of it by my didi. He was the one who told me the consequences and the responsibilities and everything and that moved me. Then told myself, yes his right. Going back with my friend, I shared it to one of my boss' here at work, he's an open kind of person and actually he's about to leave us for Japan. Anyways, upon hearing it first question he asked is how old is your friend? Told him 26, then he replied, has a work? Then answered yes. Then he started talking. He told me that's okay, she's in the right age and work then I cut him with "What if her boyfriend has no stable job?" He then asked, did they love each other? If they do, then the guy will do his best to find a job for his beloved that's a normal thing a guy would do. then cut him again with what if the guy doesn't? and he said, why did your friend allowed the guy to touch her? then replied with "I'm not really sure though but maybe because they are inlove with each other" then he continued, if that's the case then the girl should be the one to do the controlling thing. It raises my eyebrows and asked "why the girl should do the controlling thing and not the guy?" since if the guy isn't serious with the girl as he thinks what is happening with my friend he told me that the guy would only go for the dig without thinking of the consequences and most especially responsibility. Then he continued with no stable job right? then where is love there? the girl knows what kind of boyfriend she has but still allowed such thing to happen if she can't stop the urge then she should have done the contraceptives or whatever. Then I stopped for awhile then yes, he has a point. To think that they've been together for years already but still no improvements? Then he opened up two other points. It's either the guy is not yet sure of the girl or the guy is still trying to save for their future. It's not the latter I believe, he added. Then again the more I raised my eyebrows stating "what the F* was that!" not sure of the girl? they've been together for years and that's it? he's not sure of the girl? what a F*cking waste of time! I can relate on the girls' side because I'm a girl too... plus we've been together for years with my didi as well, but then again going back with the title of this blog "LIFE IS FULL OF UNCERTAINTIES". Maybe just maybe, this uncertainties will put to an end if we do our best and do the best of what we have and on what we are, putting an end to it doesn't mean that there would be no more uncertainties it's not! what i mean to say here is we won't feel the uncertainties in life if we will learn to treasure our time especially if we're with our loved ones. And maybe will consider it as an additional experience  or exploration in our life's journey even if it hurts most of the time. Thanked God I'm alive!

another day

Can feel the christmas air already. Another day has past and another day is here, another chance of my life. Attended a short talk yesterday and I was moved with it. It says "Do not judge others" wow! what a phrase! but yes that's just right,not to judge others since we don't know all the external and internal facts that's revolving around that person and knowing that even how sinful we are each and every day, still God didn't judge us, instead he gave us another day! another chance in our life, in my life. I've experienced judging others, who didn't? well u're just denying yourself! hahaha, due to hatred I sometimes curse the person, and every time I saw some blessings given to him, I argued God on why him and not me? It's so unfair... but then again, I don't know anything... so all i need to do is practice to become more acceptance and not to be envy with my so called "enemy". Anyways, upon waking up this morning, read a wonderful message from my didi it completes my day, it's like a pill that keeps me going through the day, if u happen read this post di, I want to say thank you and love you too can't wait to see you soon.

training

So sleepy after having a sumptuous meal for lunch and is now back at the office for deployment training. Almost all of the trainees are dying to sleep except me which don't know what to do aside from listening to the trainer. Didn't understand really his actual lecture but by reading the document that he provided worked so far. For now, he was still troubleshooting on something, which I'm not sure if we could help. That is why, just did this blog. I want to know and understand everything and do the actual that he said but just can't this point. One of the trainee told me she's going to the pantry and the other one has something to get from his locker, I bet they're just making an excuse for them to be able to have a walk since they can't manage the temptation of sleep for now. It's already 2:43 in the afternoon and I'm just trying to have the time of my life, sitting with my laptop in my lap. By the way, we had our lunch out at "SHIOK" malaysian restaurant that is why, again and again I missed my didi very much, it's not that far, hmmm, if I'm not mistaken is 3-4 buildings away, it's not sunny outside but still can feel the humid and when we came back here in the office, it's cold, and even me is dying to sleep it's just that I'm not used in sleeping at this hour. Ohh, also, upon arriving, I eagerly popped a message to my didi my love unfortunately, he's already out for lunch too so he replied late already and when he replied I'm already in training... wanted to talked to him but it isn't possible since I'm busy and he too is busy especially for now, he's been doing a lot of tasks. Just don't like there way of handling tasks.... well, what should I expect? there's just no perfect company!... waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh i really really missed writing! I've stopped writing for four years already and still having trouble focusing in one topic for now. Going back with the training, it's already 3:00PM still no signs of improvement of our trainer to resolve the issue he's having... hehehehe and so he announced that our training is dismissed for now, I think, this will continue maybe next week... the END